1. |
Intro: The Golden Rule
02:18
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She’s awfully rude
I guess it’s cuz I’ve been spoiling her when in the bed
She doesn’t move
She just reclines with both her hands behind her head
So what to do?
It’s hard to broach that kind of subject gracefully
But there’s no excuse
For beating it after she gets her kicks for free
See, baby, it’s the golden rule
And girls these days don’t understand just what it means
I give to you
Exactly what I’d need for you to give to me
It’s simple reciprocity
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2. |
The Friendship Contract
02:57
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Girl, our friendship’s been great so far
But I’d renegotiate these parts
In Article 7d: “no touchy feely”
That ain’t appealing
And in Section 63: “kisses are stealing”
Well, I disagree
It ain’t stealing if you’re needy
And I need benefits
And your friends wouldn’t believe me
If I said you gave a kiss
Away to little me
You act like its grand larceny
Well, book me, Danno. I confess
If I don’t get this, you don’t get that
I fill the gap you say they never fill
And probably never will
No, they probably never will
Except they got the snatch while I just got the bill
How am I supposed to feel?
When you text me your coordinates
I didn’t need to, but still I met you
At the spot at 4 am
And then you leave to
Get with my friend
It ain’t stealing if you’re needy
And I need benefits
And your friends wouldn’t believe me
If I said you gave a kiss
Away to little me
You act like its grand larceny
Well, book me, Danno. I confess
If I don’t get this, you don’t get that
love that you’ve taken for granted
And that trust of a hopeless romantic
You can buy all your own beer
And tell someone else when you miss a period
I’m sick of hearing it
And I don’t care
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3. |
Poundcakes
02:29
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They stared
They were all watching
Watching the expletives spill from your drunken mouth
It’s all a misunderstanding
Give us a second here
I’m sure we’ll sort this out
It’s just Patty Poundcakes
With those coke-fiending eyes
So which pill do we take so we can party tonight?
Where’d you go?
I lost track of the time
I’ll just follow all those powdery lines that you left behind…
Patty, let’s party
You sat
Sat there at breakfast
Still wearing last night’s dress in front of all my friends
And then ditched us to sunbathe
Charging your poolside drinks discretely to our tab
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4. |
Making The Moment
04:21
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Assume they’re all in love with you
Cuz it won’t be long before they fall
Into those eyes, quick to imply
Although we know they promise nothing at all
Why does every kiss get so bitter in this town?
Lining up for the pick of the litter in this town
Just to breathe in you before you run out
Take a piece of you before you run out
And if this is on borrowed time
I guess that’s enough for me tonight
I know you said you share your bed
But I just can’t bear to run when it feels right
Why does every kiss get so bitter in this town?
When you’re the only fix I can get out of this town
Just to breathe in you before you run out
Take a piece of you before you run out
(Don’t you run out on me)
And when it’s all over
I’m sure I’ll be fine
Cuz I live in the moment
And darling, you just made mine
You’re making my moment
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5. |
||||
Another wayward thought of you.
I kept the doors open wide
But the winter chill
Brought tears to my eyes all night
I guess this just wasn’t the time.
But is it right to give up
While the getting’s good
But not quite good enough?
I just want to
Get to see you
Long enough to make you understand
What I planned…
In a bubble shaped carnival balloon
I will steal away with you
Riding winds of fate
Through the purple sky
In the footprints of the moon
I miss the way things used to be
Our child-like simplicity
Our lives were just a canvas
Where we could paint
Anything we could create
And it was great
Till we realized that when it dries
We can’t change what we’ve made
Then the doubt comes
And all the outcomes
Suddenly become risks
We can’t take
So I say…
So keep me in your heart
And I will find a way
To bring things back to where they were
I swear I could
If you keep me in your heart
I’ll come for you someday
Let me steal you away
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6. |
Meeses in Pieces
04:21
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A stone’s throw from the fault line, but we’ll build here anyways
I feel the rhythm as the ground beneath me shakes
We didn’t sign up for the front line, but those cowards ran away
And now the kickback from the rifle
Is our one shot at survival
And baby we’re not going out like the moosehead on the wall
With a frozen look so calm
Like he doesn’t know he’s dead
I swear when I go, you won’t want to hang me up
Cuz when my time comes, I will go unrecognizable
I’ve got a static in my headphones. The invisible airwaves
Of eight million souls with nothing left to say
And it’s possible our trenches might as well be shallow graves
But like a bad heart on Viagra, I will go out with a bang
It was all good fun till you played rough with us
Then it got serious
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7. |
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Please stop sleeping with my band members
Please stop sleeping with my band
Please stop sleeping with my band members if you can
Cuz groupies can be
Such a beautiful thing, you see
But I'm at rehearsal and nobody's here
They slept through alarms
While snug in your arms
And while I was waiting, I wrote this song
And it goes...
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8. |
Tonight We Dye
02:54
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In a world
Where the clocks dispense
Dollars bills
Every few seconds
You'd rethink
The importance of
Your appearance
At the country club
Here I am
Sitting on your couch
Watching MTV
While you bitch about
Your split ends
But who’d notice them?
We’re so far behind
We’ll miss intermission
I tried so hard to make you leave
But you’d bare your teeth
I admit defeat
I sit passive aggressively
“Baby take your time
For tonight
I guess tonight we dye”
Asked “Do I seem blonder to you?”
I replied “Baby, yeah you do.
I would expect a blonde to ask
Questions like that.”
She didn’t find that funny
Now her mascara’s running
Back to the drawing board
We’d be lucky to make the encore
We bend to suit you
We break to suit you
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9. |
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Crazy is the way we met
Two needles in the haystack
Crazy begats crazy begats love
I carved your name in a tree
You killed twelve roses for me
Crazy begats crazy begats love
Crazy is the currency
Traded between you and me
Crazy begats crazy begats love
Attached at the hip we fly
Or pelvis to be precise
Crazy begats crazy begats love
I tried to wait three days to ring you up
But what do you do when that’s just not enough?
Cuz right or wrong, you’ve got me on a string
So what do I do when rationality all the sudden doesn’t mean a thing to me?
Crazy is our devotion
As we stare into the sun
Crazy begats crazy begats love
We both wore our matching straight
Jackets on our wedding day
Crazy begats crazy begats love
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10. |
Sorry, Gwen
03:39
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I’m sorry, Gwen, but I refuse
To pen a lyric or a tune
To your request after pondering
How sad it is that you assume
We don’t take pride in what we do
That we’re a shell of what we ought to be
But when you peel away to what’s behind the stage
You’ll find our smiles are fake
Just painted on that way
Bet you didn’t think it much
To get one more laugh at us
Pay me just to play your fool
When I see you
I’m sorry, Gwen, but then again
I can’t sell out my two best friends
Cuz they mean more than you could ever know
It’s really none of your business
Where they decide to rest their heads
Out in the cold
Or on the neck of someone beautiful
Another Saturday, another show to play
The audience awaits
For another pound of flesh to take away
Bet you didn’t think it much
To get one more laugh at us
Pay me just to play your fool
When I see you
Just another song we know
Just another Vaudeville show
Just another thing to do
When I see you
Cuz all the world’s a stage
And we are the parts we play
And the strangest thing is
No one will find this humorous
Except you
The greatest thing I ever thought I could do
Was to get one leg up on figuring you out
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11. |
Brainstem
04:44
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I was born into this world with a fire in my eyes
I fed for 25 years, before I recognized
That I was searing off the paper skin of everything I loved
And was unsatisfied to look at them without their coverup
Happiness is found in its simplicity
A little bit of knowledge is a dangerous thing
So I opted for the crudest form of self-conducted surgery
To make me blind. To make me see.
Instinct I need you
Free from this guilt that they call ambition
Ignorance kills no quicker than vision
And still it takes so long for us to see
I am not your friend… or enemy
I am just a being in parallel
Framing wants and needs as something else
I have no brain
So breathe…
Suspended from the heavens
You look up to see God
Instead you find a preacherman
Who knows just who you are
He doesn’t like sin
He doesn’t like your smile
He says he will forgive you
But it might take a while
And now I am released to the ground
With serpents in the trees above me
So breathe in the poison
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12. |
A Million Ways
04:33
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Baby, this is an invention on behalf of all your friends
You’re such a bitch, we’ve gotten quite concerned
You’re anti-social, anti-fun, and anti-copulation
Unless it’s with GTL-ish d-bag men
And you can’t hide your face under sheets of cellophane
It’s like you’re way too smart to keep this up
But you’re too far gone to change
There’s over a million ways
Not to be a bitch
But you passed them all
And you jumped the wall
Into the great beyond
That’s right
And if you need a couple pointers, here’s some friendly advice
Don’t offer to take off your top
Unless you really plan to follow through
And don’t ditch your girlfriends who came out with you
Don’t ask a single guy that you just met
If he has any single friends
That’s rude, rest assured that dude
Won’t highly recommend you
Though he may not have class
In the way you say you have
I bet he won’t put out for sketchy men
In Brooklyn taxi cabs, Bonnie
There’s over a million ways
Not to be a bitch
But you passed them all
And you jumped the wall
Into the great beyond
Please don’t take the words I say as chauvinist
I’m just trying to help you get over yourself
Don’t take it personal
You’re a six at your best, little lady
And both your roommates are seven and a half
So there’s no excuse to be acting so crazy
You can take that middle finger and go shove it up your candy ass
I can guarantee that my size thirteens
Would be far worse than that
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13. |
Everything
05:52
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Watching life behind the eyes of innocence
Setting off
Tandem to the winds that you had left me in
And moving on
Destined to be more than just a castaway
So I thought
And grew among the thorns, until the harvest came
And they were gone
Left out
I played your games and took the vow
And waited, patient even now
You said
The pressure is the diamond’s test of time
The lesson’s worth the while along the line
Lies by candlelight as you said goodbye
Pried me open wide, left one thought inside
In everything I do
In everything I carried the flame for you
Peeling back the bubble that I’d hidden in
I recall
You said we’d be protected from the wicked men
Well, here they are
I never thought myself as one to lose my head
In it all
But it’s almost impossible to find the edge
Till you fall
Way down
I see myself through other eyes
As more than you could recognize
You said the pressure is the diamond’s test of time
Depression’s just another state of mind
And I just stood still for a while
And tried to turn the other cheek
Despite the knife you’re brandishing now
Cuz it all made sense for a while
I didn’t want to miss the chance that you
Might just be one more lie before the truth
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