The Balls Tight LP

by Upstate Escape

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    Upstate Escape's Debut Album, The Balls Tight LP!




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released November 4, 2008

John Norwood - Vocals/Guitar/Bass, Chris Bentley - Bass, Ryan Silvernail - Drums

All music and lyrics by John Norwood
Arrangements by Upstate Escape

Additional arrangement by Zac Manchester and Dan Rader on "Fat Chicks" and "The Network"



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Upstate Escape New York, New York

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Track Name: Play Dumb
Every night all the zombies come alive
And they swarm the collegetowns
Chasing down grad students to bite
So here I am at four AM
With a textbook in my hand
I hear groans outside the window
So I open it
I wish I could have known then
What I know now somehow

So play dumb so the zombies will stay away
Smart ones go first when they eat your brain
So why study?

See, grad school makes for bigger brains
And I fell into their trap
Cuz they follow you to school
And eat you before you come back
And now it seems like such a shame
These years I’ve wasted
While they’re harvesting my brain
I should have stayed home and had a beer
But it’s too late, I fear

Conspiracy, and I’m trapped here inside
Now they’ve got me cornered
And there’s nowhere to hide
Thought I was too cute to die
But they don’t seem to mind

Watch out for the zombies!
Track Name: Fat Chicks and Bicycles
I just saw a fat chick
Riding on a bicycle
Pedaling in traffic
With her headphones on

She didn't care if you stare
Or if you dare to be cruel
Cuz she knew
When it's all over she was
Just a fat chick on a bicycle

I would be a liar
If I said I didn't lie
Trying to live my own life
Through someone else's eyes
But this one, she was different
As I'd like to be
All she is and isn't
She wears on her sleeve

She didn't care what you do
There's no need to be cool
Cuz she knew
When it's all over she was
Just a fat chick on a bicycle

Is it crazy I've been thinking
She might be the one for me?
Is it is crazy that I've been thinking?
But we'll never be

She cycled her way down the interstate
Singing songs from her mix tape
And laughing out loud
At the on-looking crowd
As they pointed their fingers
And shouted “Look out!”
Cuz she didn't see
The 12:43 bus
Creeping up on the blindside
Collision imminent,
She ran into it with a smile
All the while

I walked up to wreckage
And looked her in the eye
She didn't say a thing and
I knew exactly why
Now she's up in heaven
Looking down on us
She made quite an impression
On both me and that bus

She didn't care what you say
If you take her away
Cuz she knew
When it's all over she was
Just a fat chick on a bicycle
Track Name: The Network
Welcome to thrills,
Politics and pills
You’re running like a gerbil
‘Round the Ivy League wheel
You loved it until
You got stuck with the bill
I know just how you feel

So don me now a three-piece suit
Enter the room
Sipping Vermuth
Cuz though competence
May be relevant
The soft skills and hard liquor
Always get the job quicker

Tic, tac, and toe
I stack the fat cats in a row
It’s a one-man chit-chat show
So here we go

Wave and say “hello”
Just for the show
And backtrack to the abstract
When nothing’s all you’ve got
And baby nothing’s all I got
For you
But I can play the game smooth
From the handshake
Straight to the awkward pause
Cuz I’ll be
Workin’ through the network

It’s all in your head
Racism is dead
See, even dogs are colorblind,
Mr. Executive
But I can be your poster child
Yeah, I can make it worth your while
Cuz I still pledge allegiance
To the flag
And tools like me
For which it stands
Red, white, and blue
But in the truth, we’re green on the inside

Tic, tac, and toe
I just shat on the status quo
So take back what you think you know
And let it go

Money can’t bring happiness
But it might be a catalyst
So I won’t go away until I’m through
Saying what you want me to
And taking what I need from you
I’m on the move
So get out of my way
Track Name: Tangle
What I wouldn't do to be the tea
In your cup
And everyday you'd drink me up
And what I wouldn't do to see
You wake up everyday
You see, the funny thing is you know how I feel
And yet instead of moving in for the kill
You just sit back fanning the flames
While you say that you don't know what you want

Well, you think I'm an idiot?
Girl you can't be serious
Still you're out kicking people
While they're down
But it always comes around
So why don't you just
Face your fears
Don't act like you don't know why you came here
Don't act like you don't know everybody goes
Straight to the one they know
They've got by a string to tangle up
Just because they can

What I wouldn't do to be the ink
In your pen
And know everything that you've written
And what I wouldn't do to see
That what you said doesn't match
I'd have the evidence at last to put you away
But unfortunately until that day
My defense isn't strong enough
To fight love
But I've been practicing hard

See, I've built up a wall for you
To keep you from getting through
Now you're poking a peephole to look in
When it's none of your business

Cutie drops in for a visit still pretendin
Like its perfectly normal, given the situation,
But its tortuous to leave out “us” in us
Still, I do what I must
And this time you just are gonna have to
Face your fears

See, what I wouldn't do is ever get
Tangled with you again
Track Name: Fire in the Hole
In a scene where the guys all hit the street
On the prowl for something easy to kill
You still believe you can keep your chastity
Holding out for somebody who is real

Well, I might be tipsy, but it's not the alcohol
That's got me hopelessly falling for you
If you open up, I'll show you my kind of love
Cuz snugglin' just ain't cuttin' it, boo

There ain't nothing left for me to do
I spin the bottle
And it always points straight to you
So play your V-card
Before you fold
Cuz I know
You've been dyin' for some fire in the hole tonight

How'd it come to this, cuz it really ain't my style
Begging for a kiss that I'll never get?
But if you give an inch, you know I will take the mile
Get you down to just that smile

It won't be long before you're gonna breakdown
For some little league clown who's just gonna turn over and leave
If it's just a matter of time before you breakdown
Why not make your way down to somebody who'll sweep you off your feet?
It won't be long before you're gonna breakdown
For some little league clown who's just gonna turn over and leave
If it's just a matter of time before you breakdown
Why not make your way down to somebody a little more like me?
Track Name: Tit for Tat
You're dropping hints
Like bombs all around me
I've tried to duck ‘em and dodge ‘em
But they found me
They blow up like your eyes
And start to trickle
Down my shoulders
(So tell me, baby, is it over?)
Why do I always
Write songs in pairs?
One for the best
And one for the scary
Thought that I'm just watching you
From a distance

Well the macho side of me
Starts to take hold
And with a fake sense of apathy
Dares you to go
I showed you the door
And you walked away before I said
You've got me wondering why
They say “you let the bird out of its cage
Cuz if its really meant to be
It comes back, you see”

So, fly away
Fly away
And take the freedom that you crave
Cuz we're just one break up away
From a train wreck
I know where this goes
And I've grown just to hate this waiting

Now you're out every night
And freaking with guys
Who don't give a damn
And now neither do I
(I) can't really say “I do” anymore
I guess I'll settle the score
So I match your pace
And go tit for tat
But each new face
Can't alter the fact
That I'm still out here watching you from a distance

Now I say, there's a reason why birds have a cage
Cause if you let them out again
They'll sleep with your friends
Track Name: White Suburbia
Well, she's an honest wife
That's what she said
Each time in bed
Before she crept out in the night
Though she swore upon her life
He was a friend
But then again
They still get freaky when they can

He's the ideal man
Chromosome Y, personified
But still he likes boys on the side
Though he's got an honest wife
And wonders why
Although he tries
He just can keep her satisfied

What happened to white suburbia?

Half acre lots
Two-car garage
You packed your things
And moved out from the city for the American dream
And its all big boxes and office parks
Where you watch your stocks go up
But your problems still follow you
And you can't run far enough
Everything is not what it seems

She's a crazy kid
A really messed up kid
With an ideal dad
An honest mom
And they both wonder what went wrong
So they put her on the meds
And now she's hooked
Her brains are cooked
And now they raise her dose again

So force a smile and take the family picture

Put up your last line of defenses
Your cul-de-sacs and picket fences
But you're still living in the trenches
Down in the trenches
Track Name: Chameleon on a Disco Floor
She said that I'm insecure
And don't know who I am
I think that's a blessing in disguise
Cuz whatever she's looking for
I could be that man
If only she'd let me try

Since when has being flexible
Been a bad quality?
I thought it's something that the ladies like
But when I shape a different mold
Of personality
It just never comes out quite right

Now I feel like a chameleon
On a disco floor
Trying to blend in with millions of lights
And everyday I can feel them
Change me more and more
And for some reason, I don't mind

I thought that I could switch it up
And take a single stance
But she would always take the other side
So now we're fighting tooth and claw
Locked in a deadly dance
And there's no good reason why

I grew more vicious the more
We had started to clash
And now I wish I had known all along
That he who laughs last will surely
Not get any ass
So you might as well play along

So when the dust settles
And we've blown our last chance, I see
I've been here on the dance floor
And never even spent a second dancing

Now I feel like a chameleon
On a disco floor
Break dancing under the millions of lights
And everyday I can feel them
Change me more and more
And for some reason, I don't mind
Track Name: Rashley's Song
still remember when we met
And all the ways we felt
When you were just a mystery
And I was… something else

Everything was new to you
And though I tried my best
To handle you so carefully
I left my fingerprints

And now you're gone
So what am I supposed to do?
I'd say that every other second you're away
I wanna be with you

And baby it's ok
I'll wait
And when you're far away
I will pray
You take
A step from where I left you
Cuz someday
We'll make a beautiful array
Of how we've changed
I'd say that the people we become
Will somehow be just as in love

You swept me off my feet, babes
And I landed on my head
And now I sing these crazy things
In songs I always said I wouldn't write
But this is right
And I won't let it slide away
I'll live off pics and movie clips
If that is what it takes
Cuz now you're gone
And I'm still just a fool for you
I'd say that every other second you're away
I wanna be with you

And there's no lullabies
From you tonight
But before I rise
I dream of you